Have you ever been defeated by your very own disappointments? Maybe a moment where you missed the mark or let someone down. I was stuck in that stomach turning feeling this week. Monday I took a test I needed to pass in order to Clep out of one of my college courses, I had studied tirelessly the entire weekend. One, because I didn't know I would have to take it Monday so I basically had four days to really study. Finally, I get to the end of the test, click submit and what do you know... I scored right below the requirement. The words "failure", "not good enough", "you knew this was going to happen", "you've never been good at testing" spiraled through my mind. I quickly picked up my bag and hustled out of the testing center before I started to tear up. My high expectations and constant praying made this result seem like a joke.
If you have lived long enough, disappointment has made its way into your life. It has hit you with that heart wrenching gut punch that reminds you of all your insecurities. I finally got back into my apartment so of course I go and look in the mirror to see how terrible I look from all the sobbing. As I'm sitting there feeling honestly like a complete mess-up I hear the holy spirit speak to my heart.
"This isn't a disappointment, it is an appointment to do something different." God knows, he see's, he even understands. To hear that whisper from heaven made all the difference in the way I looked at this circumstance. Instead of throwing my hands up and yelling "I give up", I proclaimed "He's not finished with me yet!"
Far too often we like to take the "easy" way out of our disappointments and try to throw in the towel. Forgetting that God doesn't want to hear "I give up" he wants you to faithfully give your failures to him. Wallowing in our failures only allows more room for the enemy to tear us apart. Satan comes to steal, kill & destroy. Especially in those places of your heart that God has been mending together. Those tender, vulnerable hurts that are finally starting to heal. The enemy would LOVE to see those disappointments overcome you and me. And most of the time, we allow those disappointments to define us. We quickly label ourselves "worthless". See, anyone can be caught in this trap that disappointments make us weaker, but I truly believe they make us BRAVER. We are better, stronger, braver, than before because we have faced our failures with mighty faith.
We must live in the truth that we will fail, but our God will never fail us.
"Stop limiting God to what you think he can do" - Christine Cain
Walking throughout your life, trusting in Jesus is not the easy way out. You will face many disappointing people, church members, friends, family members & circumstances. The road doesn't get smoother but the path gets a lot clearer. Remember that he made humans from dust and he can make your disappointment into a divine appointment for something much greater than you ever planned.