How to be secure in your Identity

When you start to think about someone who might struggle with identity, like me you probably think back to that 7th grade version of yourself that had no clue how to dress, put on make-up or braid her hair. That 7th grade girl lived inside of me for a long time. Soon my insecurities became my identity. If I was fearful, then I became fearful. You can probably fill in the blanks on that one. However, my entire perspective changed on one Monday night bible study when we began the study the book “Uninvited”. The truths in that study hit me HARD. It assured me that I didn’t have to be everything or “somebody”, I can place my identity in Christ alone. Friend, if you are reading this and you are struggling with who you are… keep reading, you won’t regret it!

Growing up I was a very confident child, my mama made sure of it! I didn’t doubt myself hardly at all until entering into 3rd grade. This was the time in life where the root of my insecurities began. As a child: I had a terrible speech impediment, an undiagnosed case of ADHD and a huge birthmark on my leg that of course kids seemed to call “mud”. I was different, and in school we are socially taught by our peers that different is not ok. Although I think otherwise. The years of being told I talk too fast finally came to a stop when I overcame that speech disorder after 5th grade. However, this was just the beginning of a long, bumpy road.

I honestly believe that insecurity becomes a close friend to us the older we get.When I got to Junior High I compared what clothes I wore, how much I weighed, who liked me or who didn’t. It was a constant cycle of placing my Identity in what other people thought. That same cycle would continue again, and again and again until college. This battle with who I was became a chain holding me back from God’s purpose in my life. Instead of comparing myself to who God says I am, I let how many followers or insta likes or friends I had define who I was.

I’m currently at a smaller college, so I’d quickly compare what my life would look like at a bigger college, with huge group of “friends”, thinking that was all I needed to be happy. Somehow I made up this equation in my head that (people + friends + popularity + followers + beauty + intelligence + the perfect relationship = Happy). This might be where you are, considering everything else in this world will bring you happiness but ignoring the creator who promises to bring you JOY. Why did I fall into this trap? Why do you fall into this trap?. It is easier to believe the lie that these tangible earthly things will bring us happiness, until they don’t. See we don’t have to fall into the default of temporary happiness. We have the choice to live in the JOY of the Lord! He will always sustain us!

However, I know this is easier said than done. Let me tell you how to LIVE in the truth of placing your Identity in Christ:

FIRST: Look at what or who you place your identity in.

Is it a boyfriend, social media, reputation, people, your appearance? Consider what drives your emotions. Whatever that is, you are more than likely placing who you are within that thing or person. For me it was my relationship, instead of putting God first in my life I put my boyfriend. I created unrealistic expectations and found myself empty when they didn’t seem to be met. That person wasn’t created to fulfill your every need. That is the creator. God opened up my eyes to this problem and it has brought me FREEDOM sisters! Figure out what you are putting before God and knock it down to where it should be. If God isn’t your FIRST, he won’t settle for being second best – he will pursue you until you put him first.

SECOND: Live in the Promises of God’s Word!

Scripture contains the truth of our identity. We have all we need in one book, isn’t that amazing to think? By memorizing these verses, when you begin to have those temptations to fix your eyes the worlds opinion of yourself, remember what the CREATOR of the world says about you! He is amazed by you, because you are his. Live in that truth today, friend. Set your feet on the solid ground the Lord has made for you through his grace and truth. Personally, I believe if we in unity come together and LIVE in the promises of our father we will see revival in our schools, communities and churches. However, we must choose to be obedient and faithful to his word.

THIRD: Move forward into this new identity

So often, we allow the Lord to prune us of our negative self-images. But, unless there is growth from that moment of victory, the urge to run back to that man-made identity will be too forcing. Sister, you can’t do this by yourself. Telling you from experience, you need the support of you sister’s, church and those spiritual mentors in your life. Jesus has broken these chains, now you have to walk out of the prison. If you allow yourself to not move forward, it will be too easy to run back to your old self. Run in this NEWNESS! When it seems tempting to go back to old ways, look at how far God has brought you. He only wants to keep taking you higher, no one and nothing can do that like our God.

Keep walking in the light the father is shining on you, and you will go must farther than you’d ever imagine! God will provide for you. He has proven it again and again. Save yourself some heartbreak and rest in the one who gives us joy and peace. Stop aimlessly wondering around looking for happiness and grabbing onto whatever seems to look like it will make you happy. Let the joy of the lord be your strength, better yet let that empower who you are. Place who you are and who you want to be in Christ. There is no greater peace then knowing the one who knows you so well.

With love,


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